MikePadgett.com

Heijn Accord signed

— How a shopping bag provoked an entire evening's discussion of European cultural differences.”

Following the example of other chains, Albert Heijn decided long ago that shoppers should make use of sturdier bags that could be used over and over again.

It’s a green approach but it does mean that bags such as this one become essential, as does having to be seen around town with one.

Team Fincaso and Team Mono met this weekend to discuss what could be done about this particular eyesore, a blot on the Dutch landscape that now threatens the shores of this sceptred isle.

Talks went on long into the night and a firm deal was brokered that should benefit all parties, securing Britain and restoring unblemished Dutch vistas to the capable hands of Cuyp, Avercamp and Ruisdaal.

Dutch delegate Louis Schipper made a statement after the meeting had ended: “We got the deal we wanted. It’s comparable to the UK result at Maastricht in 1992.”

The British delegation declined to comment at this time, but neutral arbitrators from Chile declared the talks a success. “I think we can be proud of what’s been achieved,” said Marcia Alejandra Astudillo Cacères, “it’s a historic compromise that will strengthen Anglo-Dutch ties and begin to reverse the downward trend of ugly shopping practices that blights Continental Europe today.”